Letter to my Katy

My dearest Katy,
I was thinking today about the cliches we have always been told, the many explanations of why we "blossomed" so much later than so many other girls. I guess the boys didn't come beating down our doors in high school, and it was very easy to chalk it up to being taller, louder, smarter. We never laughed quietly, and suffered no fools. As I wrap up another failed foray into the dating world, I naturally find myself wondering why this is so damned hard. Why did dating come so easily to some girls, and not to others? Its like a language we can't master; the same crippling anxieties come back over and over.
My father likes to comfort both of us, and though we dismiss him quickly because we love him and believe him to be biased, I think he is on to something. See, did you ever think what the most popular flavor of ice cream is? Vanilla. The most popular scented candle? Vanilla again! Most people don't want exotic flavors; they like safe, basic elements that mix and blend easily. Eggshell walls and white cotton sheets. Beloved Katy, we have never been vanilla girls. I don't know why people want vanilla when they could taste every color of the rainbow, but I guess its just easier and simpler. I don't understand it...but that's what it is. This is the same conversation we had when we were 16, and I didn't believe it then, that people are intimidated by big personalities. Experience, however, has changed my mind.
I looked at that brunch table and thought about the different paths we all took. We have each ended up where we wanted to be; some married, some with families of their own, and you and I, far from where we began our journey, and still anticipating big turns in the road. Big leaps don't have safety nets, and being alone can be terrifying. I have had more weeping breakdowns in the last 6 months than any other period in my life. But I believe, Katy, I really do, that he is out there for us. I am certain in my bones that our partners are out there, doing their own thing and going down their roads. I have tried both types of men, the ones (few and far between) who really embraced me with all my quirks and didn't mind the wackiness, and the ones who just didn't know what to do with it. I would prefer to be in my twin bed picking at my toenails than suffer the latter again. Its demoralizing to feel that someone doesn't accept you.
I don't think there is an easy to-do list for us, other than continuing to become the women we want to be and doing our best to stay in the game. We can't get bitter, Katy, and we can't lose hope. We'll keep facing our fears and knocking down roadblocks, and hopefully finding time to see each other more. Katy, I won't pretend that I am happy today, and I know you aren't either. Some days are worse than others. But I know for sure that we ain't stuck with the wrong man, and it can only get better from here. I love you desperately.
Love Always,
Corrie Megan